My boyfriend and I (27m, 26f) like to host our friends (also mid to late 20's) at our apartment pretty often and rarely charge people for the food. We decided host a decently large group for a grilled cheese night. After the dinner, I venmo requested everyone for the ingredients (which was only about $5/person). Everyone paid except for two of my friends, Jacob (28m) and his girlfriend Molly (24f). My phone pings with a paragraph of text from Jacob telling me that it's rude for me to request money from them when I offer to host a dinner party, especially when the cost is so low. I told him that - even though the cost per person was low - it ended up costing my boyfriend and I around $70 due to the amount of people . . . especially because Jacob and Molly specifically requested a bunch of extra toppings in addition to cheese like meat, eggs, avocados. He said my new job pays well so I should just cover the cost; the funny thing is that Jacob has worked a six figure job for the past five years and is a trust fund baby who recieves thousands of dollars in allowance each month . . . yet I never expect him to pay for things. I agreed that I'll cover the dinner as long as him and Molly host sometimes as well so that my boyfriend and I aren't constantly out money while they eat for free every week.
Fast forward to the next week, Jacob and Molly want to make a dinner that'll be a bit on the pricier side so they ask to split the cost "just this once and next time they'd cover" which was fine with us. Ran around $20 a person. My boyfriend and I pick up all the groceries for them plus a bottle of wine as a thank you for hosting (that we didn't charge them for) because they're busy cleaning the house. They continue to venmo request us for any meal they host after that (which is rare) even if it's just chicken breast and rice.
Fast forward a month later. Molly and Jacob still haven't paid for any dinners at promised. My friends and I decide to make a big seafood birthday dinner for my boyfriend. We ALWAYS split birthday dinner costs, and have for the past 7 years of friendship. Another friend and I cook up this big dinner of crab legs, scallops, mashed potatoes, cake, etc. They come over, eat huge portions, and love the meal. Afterwards, I tell them that it'll be around $20 a person. Everyone pays . . . except Molly and Jacob again. After the party, I receive another wall of text message from Jacob telling me that he's "already talked to me about how rude it is to charge people" and that it was unfair that I put him on the spot to pay in front of everyone else because if he said no, he'd look like a jerk. I repeated to him that we host/pay pretty often and they have yet to hold up their end up the bargain. Now him and Molly are calling me immature and refusing to pay.
AITA for asking them to pay for dinner?
EDIT: To clarify since I've gotten a few comments taking issue with the fact that I asked for payment AFTERWARDS. My friends and I do dinners weekly and have been for the past few years. It's always been expected that we split the cost; we have dinner, then divvy up the reciept afterwards and venmo request. Jacob JUST began taking issue with this even though it's been this way for awhile, which is why it caught me offguard. He holds this original expectation when he cooks because he waits to split the cost until after.