Alright so I'm just going to go into it.
Before I go in I'll say that I'm very bad with voices. Took me weeks to differentiate between a few people in my friend group.
I'm friends with a few people in my school I play DnD with. We haven't known each other that long, maybe since September or so.
Yesterday we were playing together in like a battle royal type format, last one standing wins. I had planned extensively with glyphs of warding(basically storing abilities to use for later) and went in and a few rounds in, me and all the other players realise one of us is a much bigger threat than all of us combined.
Half way through he starts blitzing me, while being attacked by two other players, a boss monster and a few of my summons. The boss monster leaves and As I finally go down, I'm a tad mad but it's a game and he's a pretty cool guy so I figure "why not he's going to win anyways", and I give him access to my glyphs as I go down.(I had set them up with the DM so anybody who knew the phrases could activate them)
I had a lot of healing spells stored in those glyphs so it meant he could go back up to full. At this point is where I think I might be an ass?
One of the players(calling her Ollie) that I didn't personally know, but the DM invited, asked me why I gave him my abilities, and I just responded "Oh no offense bro but you don't stand a chance". I meant this as "This man was fighting 3 of us and a boss monster, and now that the boss and one of us is down, do the rest of us stand a chance? If any of us had anything to take him down, we'd have done it by now". Ollie called me sexist and left the call. I was confused by this at the time.
A minutes later, DM messaged me, clarifying that Ollie left because I said something sexist and gave my spells to the guy who beat me. Apparently she took "Oh no offense bro but you don't stand a chance", to be because she was a girl.
I immediately went and apologised to keep the peace but it's been on my mind since my DM also said I sounded like a bit of an asshole.
Even if I apologised I don't really agree that I was being sexist.
- I didn't know Ollie was a girl till she called me sexist and DM explained. As stated above, I'm very bad with voices and I go by a pretty feminine name so im the last person to assume somebody's gender based on their online name and such. I just assumed she was a dude with a high ish voice?
- I meant this as "This man was fighting 3 of us and a boss monster, and now that the boss and one of us is down, do the rest of us stand a chance? If any of us had anything to take him down, we'd have done it by now"
I'm not really gonna do anything with this verdict, it's just for my own peace of mind. The more I explain the more I feel like an ass. So reddit, was I an Asshole?