When I (25 F) was 19 yro, I had a boyfriend of one year that I was extremely in love with. I was young and maybe a little ahead of myself, but we both talked so much about spending the rest of our lives together, getting married, having a family, etc. I knew that this was crazy to talk about at my age then, but I loved him.
My older sister and I had always been close, and around that time I had my bf, she got one too. We all started hanging out and became such close friends, we did almost everything together. My sister and I would talk about our relationships and how happy we were or whether we had problems or not, and I completely trusted her, she was my best friend.
A couple months after my 20th birthday, my bf and I started to become a little distant. Our relationship wasn’t as fun and open as it used to be, and I, of course was worried. I talked to him about it and he just said that it was his mental health and I laid off of him afterward. Until a few days had went by without him coming to see me, text me or call me.
I called him, went to his place, texted him and I got nothing. I called his brother and even he didn’t know what my bf was up to. I texted my sister to rant about what was going on and she took forever to respond to me, it was her day off of work so I was a little confused as to why she hadn’t gotten back to me after awhile. I got this strange feeling in my stomach, like the feeling I got before a huge test I didn’t study for or something.. so I drove to her house.
I just wanted to talk to her and thought that maybe she wasn’t on her phone or was out and I could’ve found out by going to her place and seeing if her car was there, and it was there. So was my boyfriend’s car. I didn’t know what to think, I was just saying to myself that maybe the two were just hanging out again..without me I guess.
You can probably guess how the rest went. I had a spare key to her house, opened the door like I usually did, and found her and my bf *together*. The two tried their hardest to apologize to me and to explain that they had been secretly seeing each other for 6 months. They both told me that my relationship with my bf was over, and that my crying, screaming, and yelling was “unnecessary” since it was obvious that my relationship with him was ending.
I had never felt more hurt, betrayed and stupid in my entire life. They stayed together, and I ended all contact with my sister after she confessed to me that she didn’t regret going behind my back with my bf because they “were in love”. I hadn’t spoken to her in years when I received an invite to her wedding, with the groom being my ex bf.
I’m not going although I’ve mostly moved on from what happened, I know this is an important day for her and that this happened years ago. I just feel that the level of betrayal I felt that day ended my relationship with my sister. Should I feel like an asshole for not going?