I'm 23. I hate my job. Been here for 8 months. It's unfortunate, but it is what it is.
Why do I hate my job? I SUCK AT IT. It cuts through some weaknesses and knowledge gaps of mine, and frankly, it takes more out of me than I'm willing to give it.
I'm not likable and don't have the practical skills to succeed either. I even got one bad review, although the person who wrote the bad review told me I improved recently.
I've only gotten 2 awards at work whereas it seems like some of my peers get them weekly or monthly. I was even told today by a senior leader that I work with that our training program sucks and that there isn't even enough work for new employees to get practice. We even had layoffs recently.
I entered college wanting to be a PhD-level psychologist or a physician. Unfortunately, I got too many B's in premed classes (organic chemistry and math) and gave up with around a 3.56 science GPA, without having taken biology, physics, or biochemistry.
My ethnicity also overrepresented in medicine and so I would need a VERY high GPA and MCAT to even have a CHANCE at one of the lowest-ranked MD schools.
I went to a pretty tough college, but I don't give a fuck about "oh, well, it was hard, so you should be proud of your 3.5 GPA" as many of my peers had like 3.8-3.9 GPA's. It kills me to think I wasn't smart enough, but what the fuck can you do? No one could help me magically become an "A" student, and I doubt tutoring would move me beyond 1/3 of a letter grade higher.
After talking with my friends in an economics class (my eventual major), we pretty much came to the conclusion that life would kick your ass majorly if you "followed your passions" and your passions were not high paying. My friends wanted to be social workers and/or teachers, but decided to go into tech because it paid better.
And that's when I crossed psychologist off my list forever.
Anyway. my parents were telling me that I need to read more business books so I can get better business acumen and I literally screamed that I didn't give a fuck and didn't want to touch business beyond what I have to do for work.
I don't care about excelling in this career at all. As long as if I don't get fired, that's all I care about. If I never get promoted, it is what it is.
I resent that my parents have always made me choose the safer option in life over happiness. I wanted to do swimming in high school, but they forced me into academic-related EC's to pad my college application resume because I was more brains than brawn. They talked me out of premed, too, subtly.
They told me every day since I was 5 years old that if I didn't get into a great college, I'd be poor as fuck, and guess what? I got into the great college, suffered, couldn't even pursue my "passions." I make an OK salary, but I hate my life!
I just don't even know what to do.