So for some context, my grandma is 98 and her younger sister (95) just passed away last week and was the last person from my grandma's generation that was still alive. My grandma's husband, brother, and all her friends have passed away already throughout the last 10 years.
My grandma's sister lived across the country and my grandma can't even do a 1 hour car ride, let alone any flights, so there was no way she would have been able to make it to the funeral. She also has already been having lots of trouble getting to sleep lately. So my grandma's children (my mom, aunt, and uncle) have not wanted to tell her because they think she won't be able to sleep after finding out and her health will decline as a result.
I talked to my aunt about it, and how I felt it was wrong that they haven't told my grandma yet, and she basically said it will kill her if she finds out, and I get where she is coming from but it just feels wrong. My grandma and her sister would talk on the phone once or twice a week so I don't know how they can realistically keep this going for too long.
Also for what it's worth, my grandma and her sister have been through A LOT together. They were in the concentration camps together after getting split up from the rest of their family and there were many times when my grandma's sister wanted to give up but my grandma forced her to keep on going. Just bringing this up to provide some more context on the type of bond that they had.
It's gotten to the point where I want to tell my family that if they don't tell her, I'll just do it myself. I do understand their concerns, but not telling her about it just seems wrong. So WIBTA for giving my family that ultimatum?