I’m (24f) and I dress modestly pretty much all the time. If I choose a top that shows a bit of cleavage, I wear that just around my friends but that’s very rare.
Our family got invited to my mom’s aunt and uncle’s anniversary party this month. We’re all very close and I see them quite a bit, so they’re not distant relatives. My mom ordered 4 dresses to see which she liked best. Originally I had planned to wear one of the dresses I wore to church, but I found a dress similar to what my friend has so I decided I wanted it too. Link to the picture of the dress in the comments.
I showed my mom the dress the other day and she said it was cute. Now when I told her I think I want to wear it to the party, she got upset. She said it was inappropriate, showed too much skin, would get attention from the other relatives, etc.
I told her first off, I’ve worn more inappropriate things around my relatives, and never once have they said anything. If anything, they always give compliments about how beautiful I am. Secondly, I brought up how back when my mom was dating my dad, she had clothes that she really liked to wear, but he would tell her to never wear them out in public. He said because it would get the attention of other men. She always told me that that hurt her so bad that he was toxic and told her what to wear. I told her she’s doing the same thing to me and she said I was being difficult and an AH who has to argue about everything.
I asked her if she had ever had a problem with spaghetti straps and she said no. Never had a problem with them for me or anyone. I then said if HER relatives are “attracted” to what I’m wearing, that’s not my fault, it’s her family’s, and she said I was wrong and that I should know better.
I’ve literally never EVER had this conversation where potential relatives are attracted to me, let alone it’s my fault?!
Tell me if you think the dress is inappropriate. Personally, I don’t think it is but please I want to hear opinions.
TDLR: mom is telling me a dress I want to buy is too inappropriate to wear around her family and that I should do what she says.