Me (30M) and my partner (30F) have been together for a long time. We have some shared interests and love each other's company. We recently moved to a new city where we don't have any friends or a social circle to speak of. We both work full time, and neither of us is very extroverted. Of late, we've been feeling a bit isolated and lonely, so we've been making an effort to meet people and try to make some new friends.
My partner is generally lower on energy and motivation compared to me. Also, she doesn't do well with sudden/spontaneous plans, so everything has to be discussed well in advance and planned very, very precisely right from when we'll leave, how we'll get there, how long we'll spend there, how we'll get back, eating arrangements, etc. She also needs a solid 8 of hours of sleep every night, as otherwise her energy, motivation and focus drop even lower than usual. My work is far more flexible, and I'm more of a go-with-the-flow and energetic kinda person. I don't care too much about sticking to a plan. I am relatively unaffected by reduced/disturbed sleep or even missing a meal sometimes. Anyway, given my partner's work schedule and limited bandwidth/energy, my suggestions for activities during the week are often just not feasible.
So there is a particular activity my partner and I have been talking about doing together for the longest time, but we've never been able to because the activity is possible only weekdays, mostly on days when my partner will be working from office, and the activity itself will typically end only after my partner's bedtime. Because of these factors, any plans I've tried to make with my partner in the past to do this activity have not materialised. Note that this activity is not a romantic or couples-only thing. It's a very general, fun thing that you can do alone, as a couple, as a group, etc. I love my partner a lot and understand her limitations, so I just let it go, even if I'm a bit disappointed. I tell myself that there'll be another time when we'll be able to do this activity together. I always consult my partner before making any plans that don't even involve her, and proceed only if she's okay with it.
Now, in the last month or so, I've made a friend - it made me feel really happy and proud to have hit it off with someone. It's been a couple of weeks since I met this person (we've met only once before), so I reached out to them and asked if they'd like to hang out again. I thought it might be fun to do that activity my partner and I had been talking about with my new friend, so I suggested it, and they agreed. As much as I'd have loved to do the activity with my partner, it just wasn't happening. In the spirit of honesty and openness, I told my partner about the plan I'd made with my new friend, and she was furious that I had ditched her for some rando, and because I was doing that particular activity we'd been talking about for so long with a stranger.
AITA?