I (23 F) share a kid with my Ex (34 M). (Yes, I know about the age gap, please do not comment about it. I understand the issue. This isn’t what it’s about.) He recently lost his house and job, I offered to let him stay with me for a week. It’s been more than that. He hasn’t payed me rent, for any food, for WiFi, water, electricity, anything. Even though I told him if he was going to stay longer, he needed to start paying.
Our daughter will be turning one soon and we went to buy her presents. I took him with to make sure he bought her presents as well as other things as he has never bought her clothes or toys, not even for this Christmas. The only thing he has contributed other than his sperm is diapers, thrice. I pay for her food, deal with her long list of medical issues, and daycare. I worked starting since she was 5 mos. I bought a house and put a roof over her head. I got food stamps when I couldn’t keep up. I got her insurance. I’ve bought all her clothes from newborn to 1 year.
I have offered him to have him not be her father, no child support needed. But he refused saying it’s his kid. So for her first ever birthday, I bought her cake, a toy, a card, and wrapping paper for her gifts. I bought her ribbons because she loves them and shoes because she just started walking and needs them. And I picked out some clothes and sat with him in the toy aisle for 30 mins edging him to pick a gift. I made him buy those and the gift and diapers, as well as picking out pretty wrapping paper. He refused to buy her a card, some of the clothes, and the wrapping paper. He told me he was just going to “give her the presents.” I lost it. I told him that this was her first birthday and she will never have another. I told him that I wanted to make it special and I would wrap the gifts. He refused. I told him that he hasn’t bought her ANYTHING since she was born and he needed to buy this. He again refused and then later said he would “go to the .99 store to buy her a bag.”
I told him to get out of my house, saying this was the least he could do since I’m providing everything else, and he has done nothing for her. It’s not about the wrapping paper, it’s about giving her the world, providing her with things to make her happy, no matter how short lived it is.
Was I the asshole? I’m second-guessing myself and wondering if I should apologize.