I grew up in foster care kind of situation. My mom was a alcoholic with mental health problems. I understand she has her own problems and I will never say that her illness is something that she is at fault for.
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I've been in therapy since I was around 7 and all of my therapists said we have an unhealthy "Gilmore Girls"/Best Friends kind of relationship.
She kicked me out when I was 15 the week before my 16th birthday. I eventually lived permanently with my grandparents and my mom kept trying to get me back to living with her. She told me herself constantly that I was the reason she was depressed, because I needed too much from her to work on my own depression.
She went to AA for two weeks then stopped attending meetings then used those two weeks as an alibi.
Eventually she stopped seeing me altogether then would try to call me only when her friends would refuse to talk to her. She was always drunk and frustrated, needing to vent. I learned through to cut her off because she was a hot mess and my case manager and even her own therapist called her a narcissist.
I am not where I am because of her and I want her to leave me alone when I graduate. I really don't care if she's depressed or if she's too much of a coward to seek therapy herself. I'm where I am because I'm strong and worked hard on myself. She can do whatever she wants with her own life by herself.
I do feel guilty about not inviting her because even though our relationship is bad, I miss her being my mom. i know she loves me but she's just horrible at showing it. Am I being an asshole by not inviting her?