I (38M) have two children. D (8F) and B (5M). D is a dancer and she's been doing it since she was almost 3 years old. B has ASD and is behavioral. D has dance classes every weekday (Wife brings her while I watch B) and every Saturday I bring D to class and B to watch. B started asking if he could start doing dance classes so he could dance with D, which I did not object to at first. We tried a dance lesson with B on a Saturday, and I could see that he was becoming over stimulated with the instructions from the dance teachers, along with the loud music they would play, and he would begin stimming and not concentrate. I could see B was uncomfortable, so I pulled him from the class.
My wife became furious with me, telling me that he needs something to do, especially since he would be able to dance with D. I tried explaining to my wife that B was becoming uncomfortable, and I can't stand to see him begin pinching himself and almost to the point of a meltdown (harsh wording but B was on the verge of tears!!!) from how intense the dance class was. I told her that we should find him and activity that can be more accommodating for him. After settling with my wife, we decided to try out dancing for B again. Wife was at home, and I was with the kids. I watched D and B in their dance lesson, and while D was trying to teach B some basic ballet moves, he became frustrated and bit D on her forearm.
I immediately pulled him from the class again, telling my wife what happened. She told me that D needs to be more understanding of her brothers disability. I told her that both D and I understand B's disability, but he cannot handle dance lessons, and I am not putting him back into that uncomfortable situation. Wife called me and AH and said I am "hindering" my son from a "typical" life. AITA?