For a bit of background, I (49M) have a daughter (15F) Naya. I divorced my ex-wife (47F) over two years ago. I soon met my now-wife (41F) Sarah and her daughter, Madison.
Since the beginning, Naya hasn’t liked my stepdaughter or my wife. My wife has tried everything to try to bond with her, but she doesn’t see Sarah as anything other than "Dad’s wife." My immediate family hasn’t liked Sarah or Madison either, and they haven’t been vague about it.
Due to Madison’s birthday falling on a day that we’d be on vacation, I decided to have a joint birthday party for Madison and Naya, and I also secretly hoped it’d bring them closer.
Madison and Naya are complete opposites. Naya is more extroverted, while Madison is quiet and keeps to herself. Due to this, Madison hasn’t made any new friends at her new school, so I decided that the party should be only for family so Madison wouldn't get hurt. Naya tried to say something but then just went on her phone.
On the day of the party, my immediate family was cordial to Madison and said a happy early birthday, and that was mostly it. However, Naya got hugs and kisses. It made me a little mad to see the blatant favoritism in my family, but I didn’t say anything.
It all came crashing down when it was time to open gifts. Madison was given a total of 100 dollars, a hand-knit kitten sweatshirt, and some makeup. My daughter, however, got at least 300 dollars and numerous gifts and gift cards. I was shocked at how they didn’t even try to hide how they felt about Madison. I could notice Madison feeling a bit down after that.
After everyone went home, I decided to ask Naya if she and Madison could share a few gifts. I started saying that our family was unfair and rude towards Madison but then Naya started yelling at me.
She said it was unfair for her to get punished and get her gifts taken away. She said she made a lot of sacrifices already including having a ‘lame’ birthday and having to share it with someone she doesn’t even like.
I was in shock for a bit. Then I just swooped in and took some of the gift cards on her bed. I may be the asshole for saying this but I said that she was selfish and didn’t care about anyone other than herself.
She must’ve told my family, because now I’m getting spammed with messages everywhere saying that I shouldn’t have punished her for something that was out of her control. I feel like, while some are correct, I punished her for how she was talking about her step-sister. There were a lot of cruel things she said, not just about her step-sister but about her whole family.
I’m not the best at distinguishing if I am right or wrong so AITA?