My husband and I have been together for 6 years. His nephew (I’ll call K - 6)has always been difficult to be around.
He screams CONSTANTLY from 4am - 6pm every day and constantly hits his younger sisters (twins). One time we all met for coffee and he started to run into the road, I ran and grabbed him and he bit my neck as I picked him up and had an awful bruise.
He was asked to leave 2 nurseries because he seriously hurt other children and he was also expelled from his first primary school for poor behaviour.
The family and teachers had said to SIL and BIL to have him tested for ADHD, autism, etc multiple times - but they always got offended and refused saying he was just high energy.
The twins are also having issues now because they are so tired all the time having had K keep them awake most nights - they’re often quiet, cranky and struggle to make friends at nursery. They’re also clearly frightened of their brother and hide when he comes in the room. We’ve offered to let them have sleepovers at ours for a few nights to give them a break but it’s never taken up on.
Cut to now - his new school had also had enough of him and said get him tested or he was expelled - SIL&BIL relented - and it turns out he has one of the worst cases of ADHD they’ve seen and also possible bipolar disorder as well.
SIL was beside herself - understandably - but acted like she had no idea this was a possibility. The rest of us were glad he is finally going to get treatment and his sisters can get some sleep.
That was until SIL and BIL said they had done their own research and they weren’t going to look at meds, therapy - basically any of the doctor recommended treatments - they were just going to make sure he had “structure” at home and that was going to fix the issue.
She then presented a “rota” for us all to take turns looking after K each week so they could home school him and he would have more one on one time and structure - we were all expected to sit with him on the days where they had to work. My partner and I work from him so we were just expected to have him at our house for 2 days a week or weekends.
We just stared at them from across the table for what felt like an hour and my husband eventually chimed in with “what the f*** is wrong with you?” - this culminated in a screaming match, which ended with me telling SIL & BIL they need to get a grip, they’re treating their daughters like crap, and they’re stopping their son from getting the treatment they need and depriving him of the chance to have a normal life - essentially that they were bad parents and they wouldn’t get and help from us till they sorted their s*** out soon. My husband also said if they kept going the way they planned, he would call social services because all three kids deserved better.
MIL & FIL have said - while they agree in principle - calling them bad parents at a time when they need support was too far and we should apologise/compromise till they come around.
AWTA?