AITA had to bar an overseas guest from my home

I’ve known this person for 28 years but had been out of touch for a very long time. We reconnected a year ago I invited her to visit me in NZ. NO warning signs prior to her visit.



Prior to arriving she had told me she had IBS didn’t drink wine, coffee etc. I said that was fine she could eat and drink what she chose. No pressure.



After she arrived she ate and drank everything we did. Third day she starts saying how bloated she is and that it is my fault as I ‘fed her too much.’ I put it down to jetlag.



She went to my hairdresser for a haircut. After the cut she gets angry about how horrible her hair is. She gets a second cut at no charge. She then has several shouting episodes about her hair at my home. I said “your hair has been cut really well (truth) and it suits you,’’ to which she replied ‘you’re lying.’



Now I’m concerned but she’s come halfway across the world so I go the city as arranged for the weekend. It went completely south. She was angry, sulking and informed that she “hates cities, I love nature.’’ The restaurants, activities etc were all wrong. She started calling me a ‘’gas lighter, a liar, and a manipulator,’’ repeatedly if I tried to interject into the stream of blaming and complaints.



On Saturday morning I was woken up by her screaming at me about how the food we’d eaten had given her heart palpitations at night, and on Sunday about her hair. I said (calmly) that I wasn’t going to engage in more discussions about her hair.



She completely lost it. Screaming, coming at me PHYSICALLY when I was wrapped in a towel having gotten out of the shower. All I can think is ‘’I must get away from her’’ She slams out of the room and tries to check out and stiff me with the bill. The hotel didn’t let her. I get downstairs, check out, and start walking out the doors. She’s following me screaming. Same things as before but also saying ‘’I’m abandoning her in a foreign country.’’ The only way I could stop her from chasing me on the street was to finally tell her I would call the police.



I rang my husband once I was a couple of blocks away and he said ‘’she can’t come back to the house.’’ He let her know by message immediately. My husband commutes to the city, he met her the next day, with his best friend to return the rest of her things. My husband sent her a formal letter outlining that she was no longer welcome with us and why. She denied everything and said it was me who did it all. FYI? She’s a psychologist.



I have sat here thinking WTAF. She is well off, she can afford a hotel, food, she is in no danger. She’s still there, her flight leaves Friday, I’ve blocked her on everything. My husband will block her once she leaves NZ. We don’t want to leave her with no contact of any kind just in case. I’ve taken two days off work as I’m seriously tired. I think she has BPD.