I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwawa777777y
My (21M) girlfriend (21F) went on an anti Semitic rant after getting into an argument with someone. I’m Jewish...
Trigger warning: >!racial slurs, stereotypes & bigotry!<
Originally posted to r/relationship_advice
Original post April 11, 2019
We’ve been together for 3 months and I had no idea that she held those beliefs. She’s always been a calm, “make love not war” kinda person and very kind to everyone. This is completely out of character and I’m still not sure if she was trolling or not.
Yesterday evening we were sitting in the car and she was talking to some guy from her internship. She sounded heated and they were clearly arguing over something. When she hung up she said that he was an asshole, a douchebag etc...then she started calling him a “dirty ass Jew”. I was shocked to say the least and didn’t even know what to say, it came out of nowhere. She said that all Jews are “extremely arrogant” and that they disgust her.
For the record, we never discussed our religious backgrounds. Neither of us are religious (she’s Middle Eastern) so that’s just not something we ever brought up.
She continued saying that you can’t trust Jews, that they’re all “rats” and that she’d rather die than associate with someone “so corrupt”. I asked her if that’s how she really feels and she said yes of course.
I still haven’t told her that I’m Jewish, I’m not even sure how she will react when I do tell her. Should I even bother? It sucks because she’s an amazing girl and I’m ridiculously attracted to her but had no clue she was like this. Any advice?
TL;DR My girlfriend went on an anti Semitic rant and explained how much she hates Jews. I’m Jewish, should I tell her and see how she responds or just move on?
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Unshavenhelga
>"I’m Jewish, should I tell her and see how she responds or just move on?"
>Yes. How have you not told her? That seems weird.
OOP replied
>I’d just tell her that I’d rather not be with a racist and then leave it at that. I was contemplating whether it’s even worth it to tell her I’m Jewish. I have a strong feeling she’ll freak out.
lemmehelpyaout
>This doesn't sound like trolling. Even if you weren't Jewish, do you really want to be with someone so blatantly ignorant and anti-semitic?
OOP replied
>I wouldn’t be with anyone who’s racist or prejudiced against any group. I’m just confused because she’s generally very bubbly and to see her hate with so much passion is bizarre.
Original post April 18, 2019
I figured there was an interest in an update so here it goes. This all happened a few days ago.
The day I made the post she actually came up to me and said that we should do something romantic for our anniversary soon. Well, that didn’t turn out well.
Before I told her about my background, I asked her why she holds these beliefs/attitudes towards Jews. She pretty much sounded like Hans Landa the whole time. At one point she even admitted that she got suspended from school as a kid for “teaming up” with a white supremacist and pulling a horrible “prank” on a Jewish student.
Afterwards I bluntly told her that I’m Jewish. She didn’t believe me at all and thought I was joking. I told her that I was dead serious and she just laughed and told me to shut up. This went on for a while and she even asked for proof.
When it finally hit her she looked like she died inside. Things went 0-100 very fast. She got physically aggressive and screamed at me, calling me a liar and a psychopath. She said that our relationship was never real because it was based on a lie and that she feels disgusted with herself. When she insulted me I reminded her that she really liked me despite my “dirtiness” which just pushed her over the edge. She cried hysterically and I left.
The next morning she knocked on my door and insisted that SHE dumped me and not the other way around. She warned me not tell people that I dumped her since that would make her look bad. I didn’t say anything and closed the door. I heard her screaming and knocking violently, basically asking me how dare I close the door in her face and that “you people are all the same”. After a while she left and started writing me on Snapchat. I blocked her, then she called me from a friends phone and verbally attacked me. I’ve never seen her act so crazy.
Long story short, I blocked/deleted her on everywhere and she eventually stopped. I knew things wouldn’t go smooth, especially after our initial conversation, but I didn’t know it would be this bad. Some of her stuff is still at my place. Oh well
TL;DR Told her, broke up with her.
I am not The OOP