My \[25M\] girlfriend \[25F\] of 5 years has said she wants to be supportive of my comedy but has always shown some resentment. I'm typically very self-critical, anxious, and have huge stage fright (I know, shocker that I love doing comedy) but I really have been wanting to pursue this. I have started to get booked shows and I'm very very nervous about it, but it's what I want to do.
I haven't shown anyone my comedy at all, not my best friends, family, or anybody - but she really really wanted to see it and I said screw it and showed her a couple recordings of open mics I've been to. I emphasize that I am super private in my creative process (open mics - where you try new jokes) and want to get good before I show her. Fast forward to now, I have a few paid gigs coming up, feel more confident about my stand-up and have to promote them - she gets upset that I posted the flyers on social media and says "you're treating me just like everyone else I am not involved in the process" than I told her "I have shown you more than anybody ever, and THAT was super hard to me" - but she is not buying it.
She is very anxious about me putting myself out there and putting an "open invite" on social media to have people come to my shows (especially anyone *she* knows or may not like). I told her I need to promote my shows in order to get bigger & get paid $$. She says she's "not ready for me to go public" and I said "I don't think there's a set time we'll ever 'be ready' - I need to take that leap of faith." and now she's incredibly upset. I love her and I want to do this but idk what to do...
AITA?
**TLDR:** New budding Stand-up comic here, gf doesn't like I'm not as open / involved with her about it, I claim that me showing her recordings is getting her involved and already a big step for me. I post a flyer on social media for my upcoming paid gig, she says she doesn't like that because it's "too soon" and "I shouldn't go public yet". I say 'it's now or never that I take this leap' and we argue.