I'm the oldest of three, i have a brother 2 years younger and a sister who is six years younger than me who has a physical disability and has struggled mentally because of it.
My mom, too, is disabled due to her medical condition.
My father has never been present emotionally. His way of showing love, was getting us presents when we got an A on a test, if it was a B or something, it wasn't good enough.
When he promised us we'd go somewhere, he always forgot about it and used his usual gaslighting of "i didn't say that".
Now to the main part.
In 2018, i attended nursing school at age 17. In May, my mom was admitted to the hospital. A doctor saw all her bruises (not from abuse) and had a nagging feeling. He tested her for what he thought it might be. Turns out he was right. She had a really rare blood disease that would have killed her in less than two more weeks.
She stayed in the hospital for 4 months, almost dying for most of the time.
I was 17 at the time, attended school, which meant i left home at 6am and came back at 4pm, when i came home every day, I did all the chores, cooking, cleaning, gardening, looking after my sisters homework etc.
My father? He was at his girlfriend's place. My parents were still married at that time.
When I confronted him later about him leaving us, me, alone when we most needed him, his answer was: "I couldn't take it anymore, I needed some time for myself"
After some time, my mom came home but needed assistance with everything, so I became her caretaker, doing everything I could. I quit school and stopped going anywhere to look after her.
When she got better, I went out with a friend of mine. We were driving to her place.
We had a bad car crash in which the car flipped a few times and landed on the roof of the car.
I was luckily unharmed and decided to call my father to come pick me up.
When I called him and told him: "I'm ok, but we had a car crash and flipped through the air, I'm not hurt, but letting you know" he answered, verbatim "can you take the train home"
I was flabbergasted.
My last straw snapped last summer, when my sister was hospitalised after an operation due to her disability. She was in so much pain, and the meds didn't do anything, because she's taken them for he whole life and developed a resistance. The nurses and doctors were ignoring her and so she called me hysterical, begging for me to help her.
I called our father, asking him to call her station and talking with the other doctors, as they tend to listen to fellow colleagues.
Well, he didn't. My sister called me back, even more hysterical, telling my that he said to her she should wait until the meds kicked in - which would be impossible because - resistance.
This happed once more two or three months ago, and I was really disappointed in him, so I cut contact.
My great uncle, my father uncle, called me, telling me i should forgive him, because he is my father and I have to respect him.
But tell me, am I the Asshole?