I didnt have too many personal issues with my Steo dad until the last couple years that I lived with them. He was always extremely controlling, and this caused us to butt heads during the last couple years, once I forced my independence.
I "rented" a room out of their garage once I was allowed to have a job, even though they kept me from moving out. I brushed it off until he started doing things like blocking me from using the refrigerator, wifi, etc... soon we were having yelling arguments, in which he would say I never would be accepted as enough. He started targeting the fact that I was mistreated, unwanted, adopted, not his.
Key points:
1. He never became a legal gaurdian of any kind.
2. They attempted to change my name to match his, but ran into issues regarding him having not adopted me. Once they retried this process I refused to take his name (long story)
3. I got into a long distance relationship, but whenever I tried to bring it up he would rant about how God would never support my relationships because I didnt take his advice as truth.
4. My parents constantly refused to acknowledge my autism and when it would cause extra struggles for me, he'd say I was just "extra" or "purposefully antagonistic"
5. Every time we had these arguments, my mom was at work, and he would deny every word I quoted from him.
I reached my limit and used the last of my money to move out over a weekend and had my girlfriend move in with me. Knowing that our families are religious, we moved our plans up sooner to avoid family feuds caused by us "living together unmarried."
I got the expected emails that quoted the Bible, and claimed that I had "wronged him as a brother in Christ" by not following his advice over my own desires and soon he started daily texts and calls about how I had wronged God. Saying that my entire family was "obligated not to recognize my marriage." Because she came from Jewish family.
I was told that I was no longer welcome around my family at all; he rven got my mom's phone connected to his so that he could monitor her texts and calls to make sure she didnt contact me.I also found out that he went around and gave a different version to paint it as me who said I wanted nothing to do with them.
After a few months of this being dragged out, they got their pastor involved. After this my SD turned a full 180 and started wanting me to drive hundreds of miles to visit, saying that he loved my wife and never saw her as anything other than family. I told him that I did not forgive him, and didn't want to be involved with him.
Ive had my mom, and friends tell me that this is unreasonable, and that I need to give him another chance; saying that by not letting this go im becoming the problem until I can get over my pride and accept the new situation as truth. But no matter what they say I still cant find any emotion left in me that cares about him.
AITA for not forgiving him, and for telling him I don't want him in my life any more?