I(17M) have been in a friend group of 5 consisting of my brother Amos(19M), Dani(19F), and Jimmy(19M) with my friend Kei(19F) for years now, recently she's been very absent because she spends all of her time with her long-distance boyfriend Dennis (19M) of 6 months, who lives in the same town as the rest of us. I know it's normal to spend more time with your significant others but Kei used to be the most active member of our discord. she would play games and watch things with us. Even when she had other boyfriends she would still spend time with us on discord and tell us when she couldn't. But Dennis is much more demanding than her previous boyfriends.
Dennis gets mad when she doesn't spend time with him which leads her to feel guilty for spending time with either of us. This led to Kei ditching plans that we bring up days to weeks in advance. Even if he wouldn't get angry at her for spending time with us she would still leave to spend time with him, most of the time she wouldn't even let us know she was leaving. Kei would get a few rings on the phone from Dennis and then would disappear to facetime with him for the rest of the day with no word from her for days. She's tried to let Dennis do stuff with our group but he doesn't really mesh well with most of the group and he has a pretty toxic personality that Kei likes about him, but isn't very fun for the rest of us to be around.
Often when Kei comes back to town from college, she only goes out with Dennis and never makes an effort to hang with us as a group. She will invite Amos, who she is closest with, to hang out with her but it's never without Dennis there. This makes us feel like we don't matter in her eyes. We've confronted Kei and said that she flakes out on our plans and rarely hangs out with us anymore. This conversation got pretty emotional as we've been each other's friends for years and she said she didn't want to make us feel unwanted. we thought we got through to her but she left our conversation and called Dennis within the next minute and told him everything we said. This made Dennis get into a call with myself, Amos, and Dani which amounted to him asking us who was talking about him behind his back in an aggressive manner, accusing Jimmy of hating him even though Jimmy wasn't in the call; which, though funny, was really unnerving in the end.
After the conversation, things didn't change. This was 3 weeks ago and since then Kei hasn't called once but is on Dennis's call almost daily. We want to give her the benefit of the doubt and have been asking her to spend time with us like she used to, which she won't. Jimmy and I are both in relationships but we still make time for our friends. we don't think it would be unreasonable for Kei to do the same. Dennis's friends feel the same way as us, if not worse, by Dennis's treatment. I came here because I don't know if it would be okay to ask them to spend less time with each other and more with us. So Reddit, am I the asshole?