I had a baby almost 4 months ago and i’m a stay at home mom. My partner works a full time job and gets home between 2 to 5pm everyday.
i’m caring for our child all day everyday (which of course is expected as a stay at home mom) but my partner doesn’t even look at me when he comes home most days. He’ll either start calling his friends, go eat, go to the bathroom, take a nap, tell me about his day, or start working on budgeting. Some days he doesn’t even touch his son at all.
I do the bedtime routine everyday and i wake up with him in the morning before my partner leaves for work. I don’t often get time alone and when i do, i spend it eating, using the restroom, or having a quick snack. I hope that my partner will one day come home and ask me if i need anything and say he’ll take our baby so i can go shower, have a full meal, etc.
Last night, he got home and told me he was going to take a nap and to wake him up if i needed him. Around 6:50, i woke him up telling him i needed his help to give our baby a bath (our baby has gained a lot of weight recently and my partner has helped to lift him out of the tub to hand back to me).
He told me no and he’d keep sleeping. I got extremely angry and started yelling at him and told him i feel like a single mother and why am i with him if he won’t be a partner or father.
Our baby began to cry because it was getting late and he was tired so i called my mom to come help me. She yelled at my partner saying nobody cares if he’s tired, hungry, or sick; he has to take care of the baby because if our baby isn’t cared for, she’d call DCS.
He tried explaining himself and said i can do it myself. I told him it isn’t fair and i shouldn’t have to take care of our child by myself if he’s there and capable. He returned with “you’re capable so go take care of it”.
Eventually, he said that he meant i should go get started and he’d join me in a minute. He said that was what he was saying the whole time.