So I am a 25f I grew up in a very toxic pakistani household for 21 years until I moved out for work in 2019. I suffered verbal, physical and mental trauma among other things at the hands of my father while my mother sat by and watched helplessly and let him do as he pleased. I stopped having a relationship with my dad when I was around 18 for which he retaliated and made life difficult for me until I moved out at the age of 21. since moving away I have a new outlook on life and I prefer to stay away from the drama of my family home. My dad is still in my mum and siblings lives and up until last month he still lived with my mum. the last few years every so often he would create huge debt, pretend to have a mental breakdown and leave the house leaving us to pay his balances so many times I have given thousands of pounds of my savings to my mum. When I lived with her I paid for the majority of her bills/my dads debts etc. When i moved out I stopped since I was barely supporting myself as I moved to London. My elder brother finally stepped in and start helping my mum and now he's a hero. last month my mum found out my dad had defaulted on the mortgage payments and other bills leaving her with over 120k of debt. He took out the £100k mortgage years ago and splashed it on himself. He’s happily running around pleading insanity while mum cleans up his mess. I’ve worked hard over the last 4 years and in a position where I earn more than both my older siblings. But my bills are triple theirs since they live in a cheaper city and aren't renting. But since i make slightly more money than them they are demanding I pay 60% of the monthly payments towards mum's mortgage arrears. I said I can’t as my bills are a lot higher than all of theirs put together. Also my younger brother 22 is unemployed and won’t look for work. My sister says she can't pay for the mortgage because she has to pay for her husbands visa and needs to save to pay back debts including £10k that I gave to help her buy her house almost 2 years ago and my older brother is already helping my mum with the bills, the same bills i spent years paying. Now my problem isn't giving the money, its more 1. They're my psychotic dads debts for the 100th time. 2. There is no appreciation, just "we're family we need to stick together" 3. My family have called me selfish, ungrateful, a bitch among other things for not wanting to give them the money. 5. My family think I am in the position I am today because they gave me permission to leave and work in another city so I should always put them first. When I don't give in or when I decide to do something against my families wishes i am a "b****, h**, prozzie, waste of life, just like my dad" but when they need me I’m a sweet ATM. i have refused to help them this time even though if they don't make the arrears payment a court hearing will be arranged to recover the
debt or my mum will lose the house. AITA?