My bf and I have been together for 1 1/2 years. We were distance for the first six months and then he moved in with me. He said I’m only moving to your town knowing we will move together to a town we both agree on in a year. He made that very clear. I at first tried to convince him to stay in my town since I love my job, my family is super close, and I have a very affordable mortgage for a nice house that all allows me so much stability and discretionary income. However I really love him and want to be with him so I agreed and I was set on moving. I redid my resume, told a couple coworkers and got letters of recommendations from them, told family and friends, and found a property management company to rent out my house. Fast forward six months and his company laid off everyone. For the past 8 months he’s been unemployed, and very moody. I tried getting him to go to therapy but he says he can’t afford it and won’t let me pay. I go to therapy and see the benefits so it’s not like I’m asking him to do something I wouldn’t. So now it’s that time to move like we agreed but I’ve told him I’ve changed my mind. He doesn’t have a job so how would he afford his half of the rent that is 3x what he pays now (he says he will sell assets if he needs to) and I said I don’t feel comfortable moving when he has intense mood swings. He says I’ve been the most dependable, consistent and positive person in his life during this. (Probably because I go to therapy)
However he feels I’ve lied and strung him along by changing my mind and not wanting to move now. I’ve told him circumstances have changed and I’m allowed to change my mind. He claims this was the plan I had all along which is not true as I’ve been nothing but honest and genuine with my feelings our entire relationship. I feel like all his instability with not having a job and mood swings has made me want to stay where I am and hold on to my stability indefinitely and I told him ideally with him but I’m basically getting an ultimatum. AITA?