I (19f) have lived in an apartment with Jess (21f) for a year and a half. In that time I’ve had one guy (my boyfriend) stay overnight a whopping total of 3 times. When I moved in, Jane said she didn't care about sleepovers (I guess that changed) so I always made sure to let her know when my bf was coming over and we were always respectful and tried to coordinate times when she wasn’t going to be home. He also never mooched off us and we mostly hung at his place because Jess was so insufferable to be around when you had guests.
Jess and I recently got into a huge argument about it and she said it’s disrespectful of me to have a guy overnight. We clearly both had our own opinions about it and couldn’t persuade the other so I made arrangements to move in with my boyfriend and Jess was going to find a new flatmate.
Her (Kate) and her boyfriend came over to check the place out. I could tell Jess was irritated by that since she was only sharing with the girl and not the pair. At one point, Kate made a comment about the size of the bed (king size) and some comment to her boyfriend about the romantic nights they’d spend together.
Here’s where I may be the asshole; I knew that if Kate moved in, there would be some huge argument about her boyfriend in the near future especially since she was making comments abut him hanging out there. So while we were waiting for Jess to get some things from another room, I mentioned that she doesn't like her roommates having guys over at all, especially over night. This seemed to concern the pair and they asked Jane about it when she came back over.
She looked really embarrassed and said ‘I’m not actually.’ The pair tried to pry for answers but she said that if Kate moved in, her boyfriend couldn’t stay for more than a few hours at a time, especially not overnight.
This caused Kate and her boyfriend to leave. After they left, Jess blew up at me and accused me of sabotaging the meeting. I said that she’s being ridiculous because there is no way in hell she’s going to be ok with Kate and her boyfriend if she wasn’t ok with me and mine. She called me 'vindictive' and 'malicious' to bring up her no-boy rule. I said that I never technically broke her rules as we agreed on allowing sleepovers so long as we told the other person but her views have clearly changed but it's not my fault that she didn't tell me.
Now she's infuriated with me. AITA?