We’ve been together 20 years. First time he proposed, we were hungover on our couch. No ring, no money, he was in his boxers, so much love. I said YES, cried.
We saved and picked out a ring and paid it off. It arrived from eBay while I was on a business trip. I walked in with my suitcase, he was kneeling in entry hall.
Same boxers, ring in hand. I said YES again, cried.
For some background, I’m a woman that loves big gestures. Big celebrations, all the glitter, spotlight, attention. I throw big birthday parties and celebrations for everyone I love.
I had always dreamed of a bigger, splashier proposal but this was more his vibe - low key, just the two of us, at home. I was so in love I didn’t mind.
And this was 2006, before the outrageous prom-posals and insta drone videos and tiktoks set to music snippets that stoked my jealousy of these over the top proposals!
Fast forward - 15 years of marriage, 4 kids, 1 restaurant, 7 moves. We’ve lived some adventures!!! Still super in love.
I turned 46 on 4/6.
He surprised me with an epic getaway to a 3 Michelin ⭐️⭐️⭐️ restaurant, it was incredible!!! I was glowing and so grateful. He planned it all from start to finish with zero help or input from me, something that had been an issue for us - that I always had to be the organizer for everything.
The weekend was Perfect!!!!
Tonight I arrived home after a business trip. Been up since 6 am. He worked today, still in his polo with work logo.
I’m on the couch and he calls all the kids in the living room.
Tells me to close my eyes and hands me a Mailed package addressed to him. It’s a Tupperware container wrapped in tape.
And a knife.
Has me cut it all open and pull out the bubble wrap.
There’s a ring box inside and my tummy drops. He’s smiling and says take it out!!
I hand it back and say no. Who gets THREE chances to do this right??!!
Please don’t do this like this in front of the kids. The boys will LEARN from you how to make an effort!! And make something special!!
He insists so I open it, it’s a gorgeous new diamond ring. I do he kneels down, gives me the ring.
I put it on and kiss him but inside I’m SCREAMMMMMMMING.
He can tell I’m not happy and gets upset saying that this is the opposite of what he was trying to achieve. I explained that the effort matters as much as the gift, I didn’t need the ring - it’s beautiful - but saving it and giving it to me during our family photo shoot in May or on Sat night while we are out to dinner with friends this weekend for my birthday … ANY of that would have been better!!!!
He said he was excited to give it to me and now I’ve ruined it. That the ring is the present.
I’m SO fucking sad that he doesn’t get it STILL after 20 years. Yes I love the ring, but i didn’t need it. His effort matters more! The weekend away was more than enough.
AITA??!!!!!!!!